Opposites?

Today, I'm SUPER HAPPY.

Weird, huh?

Anyhow, YES! I LOVE YOU, BSB. YOU ARE MY SECOND SAVIOR!

Something That I Already Know

Today sucked royally. Sorry, guys. No post-o tonight. Just lyrics to a song that came out seven minutes ago. And a movie thing so you can hear it.

Tomorrow. Maybe. Okay?



Something That I Already Know

Here we are,
Seven days
And seven nights of empty tries
It's rituals, habitual
But it's never gonna work this time

We're to the point of no return
And along the way the only thing we've learned
Is how to hurt each other

I'm looking back and wondering why
It took so long to realize
That nothing's changed, it never will
All these years of standing still
And still we stay, in all this pain
And nothing's going to make it go away

Chorus
I don't want to wait another minute
Put me out of my misery
I can read your mind baby you're not in it
And we're not what we used to be
No you wouldn't have to lie to me
If you would only let me go
And I don't want to wait another minute to hear

Something that I already know

I know, I know, I know
Something that I already know
I know, I know, I know

So save your voice
Don't waste your breath
Can't you see we're at the end?
This goodbye, it's permanent
So wish me well
And try to forget

All the fights
And all the ways
We almost made it
But we never did
And finally it's come to this

Chorus
I don't want to wait another minute
Put me out of my misery
I can read your mind baby you're not in it
And we're not what we used to be
No you wouldn't have to lie to me
If you would only let me go
And I don't want to wait another minute to hear
Something that I already know

I Don't Wanna Waste Another Minute...

I think I'm more than a little obsessed, don't you?

I love them. Still. Forever. Whatever.

But anywho, they've CHANGED! Scroll down on that site and listen to the clips (Number Four --- My fave, just off of the preview, and the namesake of this post), and it's like "Back to the Nineties" --- Not that I mind. :)

Dad has yet to preorder this CD, and I've already paid him for it. UGH, I can't wait until this summer. Car, job, potential boyfriend, and pure happiness (minus the snow).

Speaking of Morgan, I haven't heard from him in a while. It's depressing. What's weird though is that I realized that I can predict guys by what they're doing. And no, it's not non-disturbing. Take Daniel for example. Unless I call him first, the only time he calls me is because he broke up with someone. No kidding. Or how about Charles, the manwhore, who only emails me when he thinks he has a [snowballs] chance [in hell]. And Morgan? Well, he makes me sad. Because the only time I get to talk to him is when he signs on to IM, and the only time he does that is when he doesn't have a girlfriend.

How pathetic is that? I'm head-over-heels for a guy who only talks to me when he's single.

I must be mental.

But okay. Enough of that.

COLORADO LOST THE WORLD SERIES!!!
And while I don't particularly care about pro baseball (or any kind, for that matter), it makes me extremely sad. My friend loves the Red Sox and I think they're retarded, even though I've never actually seen them play until this week... Hence the "GO ROCKIES" stance.

...

No logic there. I understand. But STILL!!!!

Oh, so big family issue at the moment, anyone? Here ya go: Ghosts.

I know. GHOSTS. Who would've thought. But my mom loves those psychic "I FEEL THE SPIRITS OF THE DEAD" shows. I, in my opinion (and Katie, I know you and I don't think the same on this topic, and I'm not saying my word is law... Promise. So don't think I'm buttheaded and calling people dumb for thinking against what I am. I love you) think it's a bunch of crap.

But again, my mom doesn't.

She thinks that the house she grew up in was hanted by ghostS who talked at night and played middle C on the piano. She says her sister heard it too.

What no one knows about my mom (and what I'm not supposed to know, so shut your holes) is that she's been through hell as a child. In fact, all my dad's told me is that I'm not to be around my grampa without a parent. Which leaves no specifics, but scares the FLIP out of me.

So anywho, my dad thinks this: Mom's childhood and situation at the time was really bad, and that it was all something that haunted her. Her and her sister, who shared a room and went through the same "thing" were BOTH haunted by it. He says that he believes ghosts are in your mind, after something bad happens, or something traumatic.

And I'm kind of eh on that too. I just don't think about it. But whatever. It was weird to talk about. I just can't imagine "spirits" being on Earth. In my religion, when you die, you go to heaven or hell. There's no "haunt" option on the dial.

Whatev. I don't know. It's disturbing.

SO.

I finished my paper on Indium and watched "Not Another Teen Movie" for a while with Dad, and now I'm furious because I missed a BSB interview and exclusive album leak, and I have practice until EIGHT tomorrow, if I'm reading my schedule right.

Oh boy.

:)

Love you guys.

Call Me INSANELY HAPPY.

YESERDAY:
and TODAY:

Happy? Jeez.

Just kidding.

WOW, I'm HYPER. I just (it's past midnight here, I'd like you to remember this) came up with a plot, wrote it up, and though I wouldn't exactly commit a murder for it (Ouch. Sorry. Dry humor --- Too many Charles Manson shows on around Halloween), I don't hate it!

So here's the basis of the thing:

Mara Carson is normal, boring, and depressive. As a child of two never-home parents with a gothic wanna-be sister who believes she’s rebelling against people no one can see, and a brother who’s claimed insane, thinking that he’s part of an unworldly community, she’s considered to be the only normal one in a family of freaks.
Her brother is close to being admitted to a special school in Washington that’s supposed to take care of the “mentally unwell” when he reveals to Mara that a girl named Aliea is the so-called leader in his world. She must stay there and reign over her people, who are gradually getting sicker because of a virus being caused by some kind of new creature in her world that anyone can catch.
She blows it off, not telling anyone for fear he'll be sent away, until one day, her sister slips into a coma, and her brother goes ballistic, screaming that it’s all Mara’s fault, and that she’s one of the “Oridel,” one of his made-up enemy. The doctors claim that it must have been something in her system that malfunctioned, though they don’t know what it is, and when her brother is taken away, it seems like her life is falling apart.
Then, when nothing seems impossible, a fiery red-headed girl yelling something about another world and a deadly virus, about how it’s Mara's fault that her brother’s in an institutional prison-like home shows up at her doorstep and takes her away to LeMia, an urban world that had already been revealed to her, straight from the lips of her brother.
Aliea recruits Mara, upset that her brother, who’s seperated and distant from both his family, told her anything about their secret world, open only to the eyes of the insane in the first place, to help find the cure, supposedly kept in the capital city of Paradol, with a blind kid named Bird, a goth-inspired rebel named Felicia, a beauty queen named Geneva, an intensely policing Orix, and one of Aliea's personal guards himself, Hart...
...All of who happen to know her brother, who’s also decided to tag along and tell his story.
When they find out that the virus is being caused by a group of rouge mythical creatures, Andrew’s “Oridel,” chaos ensues and the only way to turn things around for the urban people of LeMia is to convince the bad guys to turn good... And that’s not going to be easy, especailly with the fact that Mara has to live her normal life in the daytime, and at night, while sleeping, live life in LeMia
Especailly when it turns out that LeMia citizens can do more than stay in their own world.

!!!!

I think it's fantasy, just because of the whole other world idea, and I don't love saying that I'm doing fantasy (I don't know why - Maybe because mine always sounds cheesey to me), but I think I may be able to stick with this one.

Temporary Title?: Call Me Crazy

Bwahaha.

(Disclaimer: I'm very sorry if I've offended any truly insane people. I know your world does not involve urbanized skateboarding freak teenagers and comatose sisters. Mine, however, does.)

My Theory on The Gagging Reflex and Other Lauren-ensued Insights.

So a couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my friend, Alliza, about how I was constantly gagging. She just said "Psh. No big. I do it everyday."

But, okay, GAGGING doesn't stand for something worse, by the way. Literally, I mean the potentially throw-up...-tuious. Like your stomach is flipping inside-out and coming through your mouth.

Just, you know, wanted to make it clear. It sounded bad without an explanation.

Anywho, I was wondering if you guys gagged a lot. Which is weird, but legitimate. And if you do, what do you think causes it?

(I say thick spit, but whatever.)

So....
Rehersals suck. But are fun. But suck... In a fun way... Ugh. :D

AAAWW.

I WANT AN EDWARD THE BAT, DANGIT!

THEY'RE HERE!

So If you've checked Stephenie Meyer's site lately, you may have heard about "The Comics."

If not, here's the basic idea: This week, the comic strip Mutts is doing a special one about a bird named Bella and a bat named Edward... Based off of TwiNeClipse!

And so, in honor, I shall post them as they appear. :D

Here's Mondays:


And Today...:


I, for one, think they're adorable. :)
And Edward's such a sweetie. :D

Ahem.

Trailer Magic.

For Clara, a FanFic character who won't die. :)

Plot... CIA AGENTS?

That's right.
I think I may just be rolling with the little agent plot thing. If you haven't heard about it, it's super cheesey, yet just nice enough to give me a feeling of footing. Which, up until now, I haven't had.

So, believe me, it's a good thing. As for the plot... Well, my opinion varies.

Tomorrow, I'm spending my day on Movie Making, Frantic Memorization of the Drama/Poetry Out Loud Kind, and screaming at my laptop. I tried to operate Movie Maker on here, because I kind of understand it, and it shuts its self down every thirty-or-so seconds. ANNOYING. So being a moron, I decided to switch computers.

*SIGH*

I found out that it doesn't matter if the files you used are in the same place as they were on the other computer --- You have to remake it if you want it on another computer in a decently editable version. So I remade it, better than before, and then decided I'd try keeping all of my files on my USB so they'd be the exact copy, so I could work on it tonight, in bed.

HECK no; obviously, it's not happening.

So tomorrow, I get to spend the little time I have on my PARENTS computer, editing my movie.

alskjdljghrwluwhedlwekdaweufha.

Anywho, I'm a little irritated at the moment, and sure in the mood for writing. In fact, I'm working on character names. Look for some pretty cool friend references in the future, ladies (and gentlemen? Do guys even READ this? If you're a guy, and reading this now, AH, and I'm sorry. Comment and I'll love you forever, especially since the only link to this blog is through NaNoWriMo or a friends blog), including several previous character names that aren't mine.

And yeah, okay, I know: AHOMG, LAUREN. THAT'S STEALING. AND CREATIVE COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT THAT I COULD SO SUE YOU FOR!!1!1!1!1!!

But you love me... So I can get away with anything. Right? RIGHT?

Anyways, I have church in the morning and it's midnight, which makes me dumb, so I need to get over this bad MovMaker thing and go to BED.

Well... Maybe five more minutes...


...Just kidding.

Dream a Little Dream

So, if you know me pretty well, and if I've actually bothered to talk about it, I think dreams and nightmares are amazing. I'd rather have a nightmare than no dream at all.

Well, maybe I was a little wrong. Because last night, I had a dream/nightmare/whatever, and it scares the HECK out of me. It seemed so realistic, and actually, to my horrid dismay, COULD happen (not to say it will -- It's just possible), and I really didn't want to talk about it to anyone that would sit there and go "Oh, PLEASE! Not AGAIN!" or something retarded.

So I'm telling you, my blog-reading lovers. Because you can't come all the way to Oklahoma to chew me out over a dream, or about how freakishly pathetic this sounds. Which I know, "IT IS NOT!", but seriously... IT IS.

First of all, before I say this, I'm head-over-heels crazy for him, and you all know that. But I'm trying to pretend I'm not, so none of the gush here, kay?

Okay. Sigh. Here we go, guys.
....

So I was on this road trip (this is where it started, no lie, ha) that was coming to a close, but I could tell we were in New Mexico (...). I was in this little car, in the backseat of my grandparents car, next to my FIANCEE, who was really tall and gorgeous, with dark hair, dark eyes, and all muscular and just... Beautiful. And (you know how you already know the backstory in a dream, here, so bear with me) I was just leaning on him for the whole trip, as we all talked. This guy, known only to me now as The Nameless Fiancee, had only known me for a matter of months, and we were getting married right out of high school. None of my friends knew this, and I didn't have any plans to tell them (It was like I was out for revenge or something), and it was in the earlier part of June, when we'd just gotten out of school.

As it turns out ("DING!" goes the little dream-voice in my head), the place that we stopped was the place that we were supposed to be getting married --- THAT DAY. I was nervous, kind of obviously, but I went in, dressed up and everything, and saw the inside of the building. The Nameless Fiancee had picked the place out, but it was HORRIBLE. It was old, so old that all the white in the building was yellowed, and looked gaudy, not to mention that the whole place was made out of wood, the white paint chipped off of everywhere.

But I was getting married. And I hid my disappointment.

Before the whole ceremony, we were all eating together (it gets weird here, I'll admit) from this cake that looked like one of those cheesey "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" cakes from Wal*Mart, and I was leaning on my fiancee again, trying to hold his hand and everythig. Someone across from us at the plasti-table kind of laughs and says their congratulations (as I'm still trying to hold the hand of my stiff-as-a-board chosen one), and he says "Yes. I'm very lucky." in his dark, sexy voice...

Without smiling. Or looking down at me. Or caring.

And then it kind of hits me in this panicky flurry that this wasn't what I wanted at all. I wanted someone to look at me like they really loved me, or to reach for MY hand, as opposed to me reaching always for theirs. I wanted someone who would want to surprise and impress me, and go out of their way to try to be more amazing than I already thought they are.

As you may have guessed, The Nameless Fiancee did not live up to this expectation.

I tried to imagine living with him the rest of my life - It was miserable. I tried thinking about eating and sleeping and just doing everything with him, and it all seemed so worthless.

And crying, I ran to the bathroom.

The bathroom (which was DISGUSTING, by the way) turned into my hideout, and I cried, perched on the top of the toilet in my white (slightly ugly) dress. All of my family left after trying to plead me out (I did explain. In a "Aaahahhhhican'tlovehimmmmM!" kind of wail thing), The Nameless Fiancee not even trying. I didn't have any ring to get rid of; the whole thing had been really sudden, so after a couple hours of torture (I'd guess... It actually seemed like minutes...), I pulled out my cell phone and called Morgan.

Yep. That's right. MY Morgan.

He had no clue WHY I was in New Mexico, or WHY I was crying, but without asking, he just coaxed out the address of the church from me and promised to meet me there. And he did. He knocked on the bathroom door and told me that it was him, and when I let him in, he sighed really deep and kind of nodded (upon seeing the dress... Lauren, you're an IDIOTTT), and then gave me a hug and a long ride home. We didn't talk the whole way there, but when we finally got to my house (I was in an apartment - ready to go to college, I guess) he stopped the car and looks over at me and says:

"I think we need to talk. Really talk."


And that was it.
And it scares the freak out of me.

AHH.

---

In other news, rehersal's been upped to seven long hours tomorrow. Meaning seven LOOONG hours of dancing retardedly in high heels and skirts in the dark, screaming for mercy and rides.

Woooo.

Echk.

So I go to school today, and it was all pretty good...
Until an hour ago, when I got sick to my stomach and almost vomitted.

So I ditched vocal practice today and came home and took meds, and now I'm doing much better.

But okay, so at the beginning of this year, I kind of swore off Moore boys. The only guy for me was at Westmoore, so on, so forth, blahblahblah. And my whole thing this year is being "that outspoken girl in the middle of the room who's kind of quiet unless you've known her." --- All part of the tact, right?

So imagine this: I'm on a bus Friday, on the way home, where too many kids are loaded into this old bus that's going to kill me one day, and this guy sits next to me. Yeah. THAT guy. The freaky one that looks like he'd like to eat my face.

And then he puts his hand on my thigh, and gets slapped.
And then has the ego to ask if I have a boyfriend.
Which, kind of obviously, I don't.
But I didn't want him to even be NEAR me after that...
Sooooo... I kind of lied, and made up Dave, my adorable, over-protective "boyfriend" who doesn't exist, but if he did, his name would be MORGAN instead.

*cough* Sorry.

Anywho, he moved, and then Chasity told him I did WEED while in Amsterdam, which, uh, NO, and when I said I wasn't like that, she was like "Well... Haha... You were LAST YEAR!"

WHAT?!
WHERE DO THEY GET THIS CRAP?!

So anywho.
It's been interesting around Moore.

MySpace Sucks.

Because Morgan tells me to go there, and then I end up not being able to see him and the band. And I *want* to see him and the band.

DESPERATELY want.

:)

But whatever. Next time I talk to someone with a MySpace...

Ha. Haha. HAHAHA.

Double Fantastic with Suffocating Plastic.

MARY KAY OWNS MY SOUL.
And a hundred bucks of my parent's money.

Which, while that sucks, is still kind of cool, since the benificiaries of that money happen to be my mom and I.

Ohhh yeah. Make-up galore.

But it will also help the acne, thank the lord.

OH. And.
I didn't get to see my WHS buds. I was working my hind-end off all day.

T'was depressing, but then, what isn't nowadays besides cars, boys (well. kind of.), and friends?

...And make-up...

;)

Tomorrow, Tomorrow!

I LOVE YOU. TOMORROW - IT'S ONLY A DAYYYY AAAAA-WAYYYY!

Oh, yeah. I'm totally the next Annie. Haha.

That movie was the number one watched daycare movie of my preschool life, including the movie with the most sung song --- Can you just picture a whole bunch of kids on a mini-plastic playset, belting out "Tomorrow?"

Ah, the sight. I still remember.

So tomorrow (getting back to the original point of it being titled like this), I'm going back to Westmoore to actually work (I plan on taking a camera, but who knows if I'm actually going to be able to remember) the One Act competition. I have the Westmoore group, and am expecting a verbal beating from the crowd, since I happen to be a MOORE kid, and not from the other side of the tracks.

But whatever. I get to see Morgan, Josh, Daniel, etc.

I love them much.

Oh, and I got the notebook yesterday! It's amazing, beautiful, and I've ALREADY WRITTEN IN IT! :D

TWENTY-ONE DAYS UNTIL NANOWRIMO!
[[are you ready?]]

Elizabeth is A Beautiful Name

...But then again, aren't we all a little biased when it's so close to, oh, for instance, 'Bella'?

So I started in on Pride & Prejudice last night, planning on reading a chapter, and ended up reading seven before I collapsed into bed. It's amazing and beautiful and, UGH.

So classic.

Get your act together, Darcy. Elizabeth is THE ONE.

Reasons Why I Can't Possibly Hate WHS Anymore:

1. Because all of my guy friends go there.
2. Because it's FREAKISHLY BEAUTIFUL and makes Moore look like a junk heap. Which it is, there's no denying.
3. I love being hugged all day. It's so amazing.
4. Any school where your friends FIGHT over who gets to hug you first can't be called dumb. Or ugly. Or retarded.
5. Josh Wardle.
6. MORGAN T-RAIL!
7. Everthing's so awesome and wide open.
8. Everything's INSIDE, unlike freakaleakishly designed Moore.
9. Because I'm going to be going to school with half of those kids next year. Yikes.

It was bliss.

Example? Okay!
" But, like, I saw Josh and Daniel coming down the hall (probably because Daniel was yelling at me), and Josh was like "No, dude, *I* get to hug her first.""

OH, oh, and then Morgan gave me a long, huge, bear hug that was totally amazing. And he got braces. And he's adorable in the non-dorky but kind of teenage heartthrob kind of way. Which, you know, doesn't exactly make my day suck. :)

SO sweet. SO needed. SO LOVEABLE.

AHHHHH!

FROM THEBACKSTREETBOYS.COM:
"The Backstreet Boys are giving out their phone number and they want you to use it! Call the Backstreet Boys at 818-287-8965 and leave them a message!"

I DID.
I HEARD HOWIE.
I LEFT ONE OF THOSE I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS I LOVE YOU BYE MESSAGES.

You should do it, if you love them like I do. At the least, just hear Howie's voice telling you to leave a message. Aaahhh... :D

I've Decided

That I am gifted with a curse. The curse of not having a good computer.

Like, I can't get on blogger anymore unless I go to a filter-passer site (no, kids, don't do this at school. Very illegal if you're in a public place and they've purposely blocked it), and right now, I'm kind of convinced that all computers in general hate me.

I'm kind of depressed because the school computer isn't loading NaNo at all, not even with a filter block, which either means that there's maintenace going on, the server crashed (big suprise - it does this every year), or the computer's gone screw-wired.

I stayed up until two in the morning last night (yeah, yeah. Morning and night. Ha-ha.) because of my SciSem project paper. The procedure is only a page long, but at one/one-thirty in the morning, the math required to find out how many fruit flies there are needed to have a certain number of test and control groups is completely gone. Trust me.

Anyways, I'm so freaking tired right now that it's really getting close to being pathetic. I want to go hommmmme.

So when I get home, I think I might just take a bath and chill for a while. So far, in these first two/three hours of the day, it's sucked. Like, okay. So I wake up at seven, race around the house to get dressed and ready, Kyleigh gets to my house, and we walk down about six houses to the bus stop as I talk to her about my project. When I try to pull out the papers, I realized I'd just screwed myself over royally.

Yeah. They were on my dresser. Of course.

So I'm heading back, since it's not far, and I hear Jessica yell "THE BUS! RUN LAUREN!"

UUuuughhh.

SO, what else, I ran. To my yard, yelling "MOM! MOM! MOM!!!" because she was fixing to leave. She didn't see me until I *got* in the yard, and then started yelling that the bus was almost to the stop and I'd better run back. And then I went hysterical, and she ended up racing inside, grabbing my binder, getting in the car, and meeting me at the bus.

...
It's been a heck of a day, no lie.
AND IT'S NOT OVER! :O

AT LAST!

NANO FORUMS ARE MY TRUE LOVE.

I mean, really. SO much better than boys.

♥haha.

So Here's the Dealy-o.

I need songs. Under these categories. As many as you can possibly think of; I don't care what type of music they are or who sings them or whatever.

• Sad
• Sweet
• Happy
• Okay
• Lost/Lonely
• Lovey-Dovey
• Angry

It's kind of for a thing for me, and just for NaNo, because I don't know what I'm writing yet.

Sooo.

That would help muchly. I'm making music CDs. I can also mail copies... *hint, hint*.

Haha,
L.