Do you?
No?
WHAT ABOUT NOW?!
I saw this last night and about peed myself. I'm in love with it.
Happy 2010!
16 years ago
4.30.2008
4.28.2008
The Real Movie Post.
Since I forgot to give credit, because I am a bad person:
All credit for the clips goes to KateMaraFan.com.
The song is 'True', by Ryan Cabrera.
The transitions and fact that this was all thrown together is my fault.
Also, HIGH credit to the show 'Jack & Bobby'. And the WB.
----
ALSO, check it:
Q:"HI ROBERT! I just wanted to say that I would choose you over Jacob any day! Marry me?" - Rachel
Q:"Robert, I love you! Please marry me! =D" - Elle
Q:"I have a question for Robert ... will you marry me?" - Ryan_the_girl
Q:"Will you marry me????" - Ady
Q:"Robert: Will you marry me?" - Cynthia
Q:"Marry me?" - Rachel
Q:"Will you marry me? J/K. I'm only 14." - Minh-Thu
Q:"Marry me?" - Kam
Q:"Hey, Robert! Will you marry me? You have beautiful eyes. And I think you should marry me." - Katie Howell
Q:"Will you marry me?" - Becky
Q:"Will you marry me?" - Christinax3
Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen): It depends on what you look like. [Laughs.] No, not really. Well, yes. It's depending on how old you are and depending on a lot of other things. I don't like children, though; not at all. And you'd have to clap after every take on every job I do for the rest of my life.
I AM SO THERE.
But... Hmm...
Is Kellan a people person? Because I think I'd marry him.
Actually, yes. I'd marry him.
Banquet, Sleep, and other Non-Related Things.
MY BANQUET DRESS HAS BEEN BOUGHT!
I. am. THRILLED.
Plus, it was under fifty bucks. Still, my padre complains.
Oh, well.
It's 1:40ish. :) SLEEP.
Oh, and my MV maker has decided to start up (AGAIN) that whole freezing every six minutes crap. Meaning that it will be a while longer.
Also, I am not winning Screnzy this year. BIG surprise.
But it's all good.
I. am. THRILLED.
Plus, it was under fifty bucks. Still, my padre complains.
Oh, well.
It's 1:40ish. :) SLEEP.
Oh, and my MV maker has decided to start up (AGAIN) that whole freezing every six minutes crap. Meaning that it will be a while longer.
Also, I am not winning Screnzy this year. BIG surprise.
But it's all good.
4.25.2008
MV
So, while I've been labouring over numerous paragraphs of unsullied CRAP that reeks of Clara (we've been having some arguments...), I decided 'oh, whatever, I'm going to take a break and slack' (though not in those words). Katie, being a genious, encouraged my movie making. :)
So here you go. If you can remember, the last movie I made was thirty seconds of Clara/Nicholas proportioned footage - most, not all, of it in actual video. This one, on the other hand, is so SO different:
It's a CLARA/ZACH MV, with ALL VIDEO, and not sad, because basically, it's the memories before everything.
(What's great is that the guy I've finally decided that sure, whatever, I'll use for Zach, has been in a series with Kate Mara, making my life fantastic!)
(Oh, and Zach is now not blonde. I was sad.)
ENJOY AND LOVE. :)
(----EDIT: I hate Blogger and Photobucket. The video crap has GOT TO STOP, guys! All uploading credit goes to YouTube. Freaks.)
UPDATED VERSION COMING SOON!!!
-If you saw the original, this one will be better. :)-
So here you go. If you can remember, the last movie I made was thirty seconds of Clara/Nicholas proportioned footage - most, not all, of it in actual video. This one, on the other hand, is so SO different:
It's a CLARA/ZACH MV, with ALL VIDEO, and not sad, because basically, it's the memories before everything.
(What's great is that the guy I've finally decided that sure, whatever, I'll use for Zach, has been in a series with Kate Mara, making my life fantastic!)
(Oh, and Zach is now not blonde. I was sad.)
ENJOY AND LOVE. :)
(----EDIT: I hate Blogger and Photobucket. The video crap has GOT TO STOP, guys! All uploading credit goes to YouTube. Freaks.)
UPDATED VERSION COMING SOON!!!
-If you saw the original, this one will be better. :)-
4.22.2008
Happy Earth Day!
Dear friends, today is the day to recycle! To remember that our Earth is awesome! To go prance around a tree and...
Well, okay, basically, HAPPY EARTH DAY.
Well, okay, basically, HAPPY EARTH DAY.
4.20.2008
So I'm reading "Wake" again...
And pretty much, I just want to thank Elizabeth Scott for letting me be able to read such an amazing book. It's so deep and dark in places, and I'm not kidding, in some parts I had to look away from the pages because of the tension in the story. I've got a weakness for dreams (as you all may know), and this book has got to be one of my favorites.
Also, I'm saving the Stealing Heaven card that came with the "Wake" book. Elizabeth wrote on it, and since I'm pretty much obsessed over anything author-related, it's one of those treasures I'm sure to pull out of a shadow box when I'm seventy and be showing to my grandkids.
Speaking of 'obsessed', at the gymnastics meet for Kristen this weekend, one of the girls was sporting a shirt that read: "Obsessed is another word the lazy like to call the dedicated."
I think I like it. New mantra. Kind of.
I need to work on a whole Clara thing for you guys, as well as two essays for school, memorizing my lines as both 'Young Eva' in 'And Then They Came for Me: Remembering Anne Frank' and 'Fairy Godmother' (who's delightfully witty and absentminded, not to mention funny) in 'Cinderella, Cinderella', the children's theatre piece that's supposed to be memorized by Wednesday.
Yes. Yikes.
But WHATEVER. I love it.
Um, and thank you for the lovely posts, Jessie Lynn. :D
Also, I'm saving the Stealing Heaven card that came with the "Wake" book. Elizabeth wrote on it, and since I'm pretty much obsessed over anything author-related, it's one of those treasures I'm sure to pull out of a shadow box when I'm seventy and be showing to my grandkids.
Speaking of 'obsessed', at the gymnastics meet for Kristen this weekend, one of the girls was sporting a shirt that read: "Obsessed is another word the lazy like to call the dedicated."
I think I like it. New mantra. Kind of.
I need to work on a whole Clara thing for you guys, as well as two essays for school, memorizing my lines as both 'Young Eva' in 'And Then They Came for Me: Remembering Anne Frank' and 'Fairy Godmother' (who's delightfully witty and absentminded, not to mention funny) in 'Cinderella, Cinderella', the children's theatre piece that's supposed to be memorized by Wednesday.
Yes. Yikes.
But WHATEVER. I love it.
Um, and thank you for the lovely posts, Jessie Lynn. :D
Twilight Movie News.
An official line from the movie is:
"You better hold on tight, spidermonkey."
-Edward to Bella, who is on his back.
I'm excited... Spidermonkey. Ahaha.
---
ALSO (update):
I read Wake, by Lisa McMann, and I swear to anyone, IT IS AMAZING. Janie, a teenaged girl, has always been plauged with the curse of being sucked into people who fall asleep around her's dreams. Her life is spent hiding it, but when someone starts having murderous dreams and finds out that she can see them, things get a little complicated.
And. I love the name Cabel.
(Stupid awesome authors, thinking up the creative and stupidly original names that, you know, it might have been nice to tell me about before it was published.)
Just kidding. It's all love.
-Edward to Bella, who is on his back.
I'm excited... Spidermonkey. Ahaha.
---
ALSO (update):
I read Wake, by Lisa McMann, and I swear to anyone, IT IS AMAZING. Janie, a teenaged girl, has always been plauged with the curse of being sucked into people who fall asleep around her's dreams. Her life is spent hiding it, but when someone starts having murderous dreams and finds out that she can see them, things get a little complicated.
And. I love the name Cabel.
(Stupid awesome authors, thinking up the creative and stupidly original names that, you know, it might have been nice to tell me about before it was published.)
Just kidding. It's all love.
4.16.2008
Packing, then Kansas!
KANSAS! WOO!
I'm leaving on Friday, so if you need to get ahold of me, call le cellular. Otherwise, I will most likely have to talk to you on Monday night. :P
I don't know if I'll be awake enough from packing/practice (they recasted older me. Oh, boy) to post tomorrow, so this may have to kind of serve as an I LOVE YOU TTYL! thing. Which I do love you, btw. :)
UGH. FORGET IT. I'LL WRITE TOMORROW.
I'M TIRED!
Ovelay ouyay, ymay ellowfay igpay atinlay eadersray.
♥
---LAUREN'S BLOG EXCLUSIVE!---
Scripting procrastination. I am so incredibly far behind that yes, you should probably shoot me. But please refrain, because I had this incredible orginal idea for a story, and kind of wrote a page of it. And I love it, strangely enough. Writer's block can do some crazy stuff to the ole' 'magination.
After all, she was the girl that haunted his nightmares, and yet, he would never remember her.
She smiled wickedly at him. “I have no name.”
He raised an eyebrow, and her façade faltered for a moment, though not as much as it did when he spoke the simple words that shattered her whole unlife. “I know you’re a nightmare.”
In the blink of an eye, it was all gone, and he was once again awake.
That look, he thought to himself, that horrified look on her face as the words were even slightly formed in his mind. The way she’d seemed so sure, and then had been almost scared.
He shook it off, and called Jeremy.
“Wha?” Jeremy answered with, obviously still partially sleeping.
“I did it. I told her she was a nightmare.”
Carson could barely make out the explicit swears on the other end of the line, the floor creaking as Jeremy sat up in his bed.
“You didn’t. Not tonight.”
He laughed nervously. “Uh, yeah. Because you said something about telling her that and she wouldn’t come back.”
Jeremy cursed again. “We are screwed.”
He frowned. “I did what you said, she gave me this dear-in-the-headlights-look, and then I woke up.”
Three more swears. “You weren’t supposed to do it tonight, moron! Go outside and tell me what you see.”
“It’s three in the morning,” he said, flicking his gaze over at the neon numbers beside his bed, glowing in what seemed to be mid-air. “Is this necessary?”
“Just look out the frigging window, then!”
Carson stood up and felt his way around the room, towards the shades that he’d pulled closed the night before. The moon had been so bright.
Slowly, and then quickly, as to get it over with, he opened the shades, flinching from the brightness of the-
“There’s nothing out there, Jeremy.” He said flatly. “No monsters, no nightmares, no moon, even.”
“EXACTLY!” Jeremy yelled over the phone, frustrated. “A NEW MOON!”
He sat there, puzzled, as Jeremy fumed for a minute, before explaining, his voice strained.
“A nightmare can be stopped, the freaky vixens that they are, if you tell them, in your horror dream, that they are a nightmare, but if you do so during a new moon, they’re not just in your horror dreams anymore – they’re REAL.”
“You’re kidding.” He said, lacking conviction.
“Oh, no.” Jeremy replied, laughing sarcastically. “No, no, no. And you know what’s better than that? Every single person who knows anything about the nightmares can see them, while everyone else remains completely clueless.” He could hear Jeremy fall back onto his bed. "Screwed, screwed, screwed, screwed, screwed!"
I'm leaving on Friday, so if you need to get ahold of me, call le cellular. Otherwise, I will most likely have to talk to you on Monday night. :P
I don't know if I'll be awake enough from packing/practice (they recasted older me. Oh, boy) to post tomorrow, so this may have to kind of serve as an I LOVE YOU TTYL! thing. Which I do love you, btw. :)
UGH. FORGET IT. I'LL WRITE TOMORROW.
I'M TIRED!
Ovelay ouyay, ymay ellowfay igpay atinlay eadersray.
♥
---LAUREN'S BLOG EXCLUSIVE!---
Scripting procrastination. I am so incredibly far behind that yes, you should probably shoot me. But please refrain, because I had this incredible orginal idea for a story, and kind of wrote a page of it. And I love it, strangely enough. Writer's block can do some crazy stuff to the ole' 'magination.
After all, she was the girl that haunted his nightmares, and yet, he would never remember her.
She smiled wickedly at him. “I have no name.”
He raised an eyebrow, and her façade faltered for a moment, though not as much as it did when he spoke the simple words that shattered her whole unlife. “I know you’re a nightmare.”
In the blink of an eye, it was all gone, and he was once again awake.
That look, he thought to himself, that horrified look on her face as the words were even slightly formed in his mind. The way she’d seemed so sure, and then had been almost scared.
He shook it off, and called Jeremy.
“Wha?” Jeremy answered with, obviously still partially sleeping.
“I did it. I told her she was a nightmare.”
Carson could barely make out the explicit swears on the other end of the line, the floor creaking as Jeremy sat up in his bed.
“You didn’t. Not tonight.”
He laughed nervously. “Uh, yeah. Because you said something about telling her that and she wouldn’t come back.”
Jeremy cursed again. “We are screwed.”
He frowned. “I did what you said, she gave me this dear-in-the-headlights-look, and then I woke up.”
Three more swears. “You weren’t supposed to do it tonight, moron! Go outside and tell me what you see.”
“It’s three in the morning,” he said, flicking his gaze over at the neon numbers beside his bed, glowing in what seemed to be mid-air. “Is this necessary?”
“Just look out the frigging window, then!”
Carson stood up and felt his way around the room, towards the shades that he’d pulled closed the night before. The moon had been so bright.
Slowly, and then quickly, as to get it over with, he opened the shades, flinching from the brightness of the-
“There’s nothing out there, Jeremy.” He said flatly. “No monsters, no nightmares, no moon, even.”
“EXACTLY!” Jeremy yelled over the phone, frustrated. “A NEW MOON!”
He sat there, puzzled, as Jeremy fumed for a minute, before explaining, his voice strained.
“A nightmare can be stopped, the freaky vixens that they are, if you tell them, in your horror dream, that they are a nightmare, but if you do so during a new moon, they’re not just in your horror dreams anymore – they’re REAL.”
“You’re kidding.” He said, lacking conviction.
“Oh, no.” Jeremy replied, laughing sarcastically. “No, no, no. And you know what’s better than that? Every single person who knows anything about the nightmares can see them, while everyone else remains completely clueless.” He could hear Jeremy fall back onto his bed. "Screwed, screwed, screwed, screwed, screwed!"
4.15.2008
Elizabeth Scott Is Not Only a Great Writer.
She also gives away GREAT PRIZES.
I can't believe it. Oh.my.GOODNESS.
Elizabeth, I love you.
Oh, and thank you for Facebooking me.
Oh, and thank you for blogging about me.
Did I mention that I love her?
I can't believe it. Oh.my.GOODNESS.
Elizabeth, I love you.
Oh, and thank you for Facebooking me.
Oh, and thank you for blogging about me.
Did I mention that I love her?
4.14.2008
Just because I'm in love with Pig Latin now...
Ightalray eoplepay! Igpay atinlay ostpay!
Osay, igpay atinlay siay outabay ethay oolestcay anguagelay atthay ashay erevay eenbay iscoveredday. Tisay osay asyeay otay earnlay - ouyay ustjay itchsway oundaray ordsway ointay isthay ecificspay erorday, enthay ddaay otway etterslay.
Usplay, Iay maay ettinggay ethay iggestbay ickkay utoay owingknay atthay onay eonay illway erstandunday isth!
IAY OVELAY UOYAY LLAAY!
Hoay, fiay uoyay urntay utoay otay ebay (HAHA. EBAY!) eablay otay ecipherday llaay foay isthay, ongratulationscay!
...Ecausebay atthay astlay ordway asway OSAY ardhay otay igurefay utoay.
Omecay otay inkthay foay tiay, ymay igpay atinlay indkay foay ucksay... otalay.
Osay, igpay atinlay siay outabay ethay oolestcay anguagelay atthay ashay erevay eenbay iscoveredday. Tisay osay asyeay otay earnlay - ouyay ustjay itchsway oundaray ordsway ointay isthay ecificspay erorday, enthay ddaay otway etterslay.
Usplay, Iay maay ettinggay ethay iggestbay ickkay utoay owingknay atthay onay eonay illway erstandunday isth!
IAY OVELAY UOYAY LLAAY!
Hoay, fiay uoyay urntay utoay otay ebay (HAHA. EBAY!) eablay otay ecipherday llaay foay isthay, ongratulationscay!
...Ecausebay atthay astlay ordway asway OSAY ardhay otay igurefay utoay.
Omecay otay inkthay foay tiay, ymay igpay atinlay indkay foay ucksay... otalay.
4.13.2008
Iptingscray - Entytway agespay!
Scripting - Twenty pages! (In pig latin, which I am teaching myself because it's pretty easy to learn, believe it or not.)
It's already ten thirty, and I want to kind of write five pages before I go to sleep (which may not happen at this rate), so this post won't be long or anything, just kind of... there. :)
I DO HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW.
Which sucks. I agree.
But my doctor wrote the wrong date on my note. Turd.
In other news, ymay extnay ayday ffoay siay ethay entytway-ixthsay foay AYMAY.
SIGH.
---
MRS. L
For the next several days, you all will be writing a story. No, it doesn't have to be a novel, but you're going to kind of... pretend... that you're a novelist, writing some kind of fiction: SciFi, Fantasy, or just plain Fiction. You choose. I'll be handing out character sheets to be filled in, antagonist, protagonist, and three supporting characters, and I'll also expect to see a notebook of thoughts about your story as you write it, problems that you encounter, and how you chose to solve those problems.
TRAVIS
(flatly)
Crap.
It's already ten thirty, and I want to kind of write five pages before I go to sleep (which may not happen at this rate), so this post won't be long or anything, just kind of... there. :)
I DO HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW.
Which sucks. I agree.
But my doctor wrote the wrong date on my note. Turd.
In other news, ymay extnay ayday ffoay siay ethay entytway-ixthsay foay AYMAY.
SIGH.
---
MRS. L
For the next several days, you all will be writing a story. No, it doesn't have to be a novel, but you're going to kind of... pretend... that you're a novelist, writing some kind of fiction: SciFi, Fantasy, or just plain Fiction. You choose. I'll be handing out character sheets to be filled in, antagonist, protagonist, and three supporting characters, and I'll also expect to see a notebook of thoughts about your story as you write it, problems that you encounter, and how you chose to solve those problems.
TRAVIS
(flatly)
Crap.
4.12.2008
Back to the Old Grind...
I'm being weird with titles for posts lately. They're making no sense.
BUT WHATEVER.
:)
All is good, except that I'm sick. I went to the doctor the other day, and because there's nothing in my family that can't be done without drama of some sort, several things happened.
Firstly, I'm home until Tuesday. WOOOO!
Secondly, the doctor perscribed this weird pill, and we go to get it filled, and it turns out to be heroin.
(Just kidding.)
They actually didn't have the medication there, which has NEVER HAPPENED TO US.
So we're trying the Wal-Mart pharmacy (which sounds pretty freakin' genuine, eh?) today, and hopefully the suckers will have it.
Hehehe... I need to ript-scray.
BUT WHATEVER.
:)
All is good, except that I'm sick. I went to the doctor the other day, and because there's nothing in my family that can't be done without drama of some sort, several things happened.
Firstly, I'm home until Tuesday. WOOOO!
Secondly, the doctor perscribed this weird pill, and we go to get it filled, and it turns out to be heroin.
(Just kidding.)
They actually didn't have the medication there, which has NEVER HAPPENED TO US.
So we're trying the Wal-Mart pharmacy (which sounds pretty freakin' genuine, eh?) today, and hopefully the suckers will have it.
Hehehe... I need to ript-scray.
4.10.2008
Page Fourteen, and WOW, Where has my BRAIN been?
WOW. Where has my BRAIN been?
Hahaha.
I'm still alive.
I just, you know, have no time and charger.
---
AUDRA
Well, I'm gone to History. Get some sleep in English, because I intend to tell you about hot-as-ever David Harrington and our close romantic encounter when I drop my pencil close to his desk.
LUCY
(shaking her head)
You should be ashamed.
AUDRA
Should, but not. SEE YA!
Hahaha.
I'm still alive.
I just, you know, have no time and charger.
---
AUDRA
Well, I'm gone to History. Get some sleep in English, because I intend to tell you about hot-as-ever David Harrington and our close romantic encounter when I drop my pencil close to his desk.
LUCY
(shaking her head)
You should be ashamed.
AUDRA
Should, but not. SEE YA!
4.02.2008
Page Count: Seven. (Yay!)
So, okay.
Today my brother ran away. Literally.
It was hell.
But now, it's better.
And I don't want to discuss it at all.
:)
If you do want to hear about it, I can post what I told Anna (who, speaking of, I owe an apology - My laptop SHORTED OUT. I was STUNNED. But Dad fixed it again, and now I'm just worrying about the charger again. Woo-hoo.)
Basically, everyone in my family's feeling slightly weirded out right now. I'm not the only one, and I feel kind of selfish for even writing that last thing about wanting to go away - I'm not alone, here. My parents and Michael are in this too, and as much as I might feel so danged unique, I'm still their family, and if I leave, I'm giving up.
So commences the 2008 search for a best friend, by the way. Kyleigh's hanging out with Steph, who I can't be around for long periods of time, and when I tried telling her about this Morgan thing, she was just like "well, you heard that pregnancy thing from Daniel, so who knows if it's true" - like I would DOUBT the only guy who cares enough to call ME.
But she's still my friend. I just feel kind of limited on what I can tell her.
AAAARRRGH.
Okay.
Frustration ----> slightly vented.
Oh, and since Dad checked me out of fifth and sixth hour to try and find Michael today, I'm officially failing English and potentially drama for absentses. I'm going to talk to the principal tomorrow, and reason with her and tell her to talk to dad.
Blah.
These last two weeks could be erased and it would be better.
Today my brother ran away. Literally.
It was hell.
But now, it's better.
And I don't want to discuss it at all.
:)
If you do want to hear about it, I can post what I told Anna (who, speaking of, I owe an apology - My laptop SHORTED OUT. I was STUNNED. But Dad fixed it again, and now I'm just worrying about the charger again. Woo-hoo.)
Basically, everyone in my family's feeling slightly weirded out right now. I'm not the only one, and I feel kind of selfish for even writing that last thing about wanting to go away - I'm not alone, here. My parents and Michael are in this too, and as much as I might feel so danged unique, I'm still their family, and if I leave, I'm giving up.
So commences the 2008 search for a best friend, by the way. Kyleigh's hanging out with Steph, who I can't be around for long periods of time, and when I tried telling her about this Morgan thing, she was just like "well, you heard that pregnancy thing from Daniel, so who knows if it's true" - like I would DOUBT the only guy who cares enough to call ME.
But she's still my friend. I just feel kind of limited on what I can tell her.
AAAARRRGH.
Okay.
Frustration ----> slightly vented.
Oh, and since Dad checked me out of fifth and sixth hour to try and find Michael today, I'm officially failing English and potentially drama for absentses. I'm going to talk to the principal tomorrow, and reason with her and tell her to talk to dad.
Blah.
These last two weeks could be erased and it would be better.
3.31.2008
Don't Get Me Started... Please.
Morgan's dating Amanda McC.
And yes, I'm excluding her FULL last name because I'm going to say some things that aren't nice about her. But I mean them in every way, and I wish I could sit down and tell her these things.
I was talking to Daniel on the phone (I swear, he's the only person I can talk to freely... almost. I have no female friends to rely on anymore, and I definetly don't want to talk about boys to him), and he happened to mention the small fact stated above.
I swear to whatever is Holy, I thought he was kidding.
Amanda McC is pretty, I'll admit. She's not a 'stunner' or anything, but I think she's incredibly pretty and sweet.
She's the girl you want to date if you want sex - that's the reputation she gives off.
She's been pregnant once with a miscarrage, another that was a 'false alarm'.
She gets pleasure out of toying with people's emotions - guys, specifically.
She got Morgan grounded because he stayed with her until a quarter till, and showed up at his own house close to one in the morning.
I thought that he wanted to be my "fallback", and yet I feel like I'm more of his last choice.
Okay, not last, I get it. But I'm still fallback. And being fallback is everything I'm trying not to be - I want a guy who knows me, but wants to know me more; a guy that won't realize that I exist after he dates or chases one of my best friends; a guy that wants Lauren, and isn't using me.
I am so TIRED of being used!
...
It hurts. A lot more than I want it to.
This was a horrible time for this to happen - these last couple of weeks have been literally a trial-by-fire. And now this? Telling me that the only reason I know anything anymore is because of someone who calls me up three times a month or so to tell me about his life?
I wish Morgan and I were still friends, at least. Then, I could talk to him about Amanda.
But you know, I can't. I can't stand another awkward phone call that *I* had to make, or another slanted conversation at my house because I invited him over. I can't handle any of that anymore.
In the last year, High School, I think that I've stopped caring as much.
And that sucks. A lot. But I can't do it on my own. I need some kind of proof that you care back.
I wasn't trying to be a girlfriend or a crush. I was trying to be more of a friend. But then again, I should've known from last time that friends obviously don't call each other.
I don't know.
If he wants to talk to anyone, maybe he should try Kim. She'd be more willing to make amends, and might even tell him what she thinks of AmMcC (the same as I do). But I needed a friend, and somewhere in the mix, I thought that maybe it was him.
It wasn't.
I wish I had the guts to just walk up to my family and say that I want to move away for a month or two - get away from the people who've kind of wrecked everything up. They wouldn't understand that I don't mean that I don't love them. It's just... Everything's equalling nothing right now.
It's okay, though.
I'm breathing. :)
In other news, SCRIPT FRENZY is tomorrow! Once again, it's very iffy on whether I'll be able to finish, although I promise to do my best (not promising a stable plot at all).
And yes, I'm excluding her FULL last name because I'm going to say some things that aren't nice about her. But I mean them in every way, and I wish I could sit down and tell her these things.
I was talking to Daniel on the phone (I swear, he's the only person I can talk to freely... almost. I have no female friends to rely on anymore, and I definetly don't want to talk about boys to him), and he happened to mention the small fact stated above.
I swear to whatever is Holy, I thought he was kidding.
Amanda McC is pretty, I'll admit. She's not a 'stunner' or anything, but I think she's incredibly pretty and sweet.
She's the girl you want to date if you want sex - that's the reputation she gives off.
She's been pregnant once with a miscarrage, another that was a 'false alarm'.
She gets pleasure out of toying with people's emotions - guys, specifically.
She got Morgan grounded because he stayed with her until a quarter till, and showed up at his own house close to one in the morning.
I thought that he wanted to be my "fallback", and yet I feel like I'm more of his last choice.
Okay, not last, I get it. But I'm still fallback. And being fallback is everything I'm trying not to be - I want a guy who knows me, but wants to know me more; a guy that won't realize that I exist after he dates or chases one of my best friends; a guy that wants Lauren, and isn't using me.
I am so TIRED of being used!
...
It hurts. A lot more than I want it to.
This was a horrible time for this to happen - these last couple of weeks have been literally a trial-by-fire. And now this? Telling me that the only reason I know anything anymore is because of someone who calls me up three times a month or so to tell me about his life?
I wish Morgan and I were still friends, at least. Then, I could talk to him about Amanda.
But you know, I can't. I can't stand another awkward phone call that *I* had to make, or another slanted conversation at my house because I invited him over. I can't handle any of that anymore.
In the last year, High School, I think that I've stopped caring as much.
And that sucks. A lot. But I can't do it on my own. I need some kind of proof that you care back.
I wasn't trying to be a girlfriend or a crush. I was trying to be more of a friend. But then again, I should've known from last time that friends obviously don't call each other.
I don't know.
If he wants to talk to anyone, maybe he should try Kim. She'd be more willing to make amends, and might even tell him what she thinks of AmMcC (the same as I do). But I needed a friend, and somewhere in the mix, I thought that maybe it was him.
It wasn't.
I wish I had the guts to just walk up to my family and say that I want to move away for a month or two - get away from the people who've kind of wrecked everything up. They wouldn't understand that I don't mean that I don't love them. It's just... Everything's equalling nothing right now.
It's okay, though.
I'm breathing. :)
In other news, SCRIPT FRENZY is tomorrow! Once again, it's very iffy on whether I'll be able to finish, although I promise to do my best (not promising a stable plot at all).
3.30.2008
Mkay.
Better.
Much better.
WRITING RANTS challenge complete.
Mazie's going to be fine.
Little dog probably has the same stuff, but it's not severe yet, so we'll take her in on Monday to get the medication.
A thousand dollars - dropped in one weekend.
It's been insane.
Does anyone want to kidnap me?
Much better.
WRITING RANTS challenge complete.
Mazie's going to be fine.
Little dog probably has the same stuff, but it's not severe yet, so we'll take her in on Monday to get the medication.
A thousand dollars - dropped in one weekend.
It's been insane.
Does anyone want to kidnap me?
3.29.2008
I'm So Scared.
I'm so scared.
Mazie's sick, and my heart aches. She's not eating, and is heaving up thick spit up onto the carpet. For once, I don't mind cleaning it up, although I have to fight back the tears. It hurts so bad watching my puppy shudder and suffer, because we can't take her to the vet until tomorrow. Even then, I'm so afraid for her - that she won't make it. And right now, I'm not able to handle that.
We came home and couldn't find her until I walked into my room, where she was on my bed, shaking like she does when she's cold - except it's not cold. She wouldn't move off of the bed willingly, and threw up on mom and dad's bed.
My throat hurts with that knot you can't get out when you cry. I love her.
Please, please, please, God - I need her; I've already lost so many of my angels this year.
Mazie's sick, and my heart aches. She's not eating, and is heaving up thick spit up onto the carpet. For once, I don't mind cleaning it up, although I have to fight back the tears. It hurts so bad watching my puppy shudder and suffer, because we can't take her to the vet until tomorrow. Even then, I'm so afraid for her - that she won't make it. And right now, I'm not able to handle that.
We came home and couldn't find her until I walked into my room, where she was on my bed, shaking like she does when she's cold - except it's not cold. She wouldn't move off of the bed willingly, and threw up on mom and dad's bed.
My throat hurts with that knot you can't get out when you cry. I love her.
Please, please, please, God - I need her; I've already lost so many of my angels this year.
3.27.2008
Good/Bad News.
The Good News:
I've started working on the Clara/Zach post, the challenge that's going to be a 'teaser' for the C/Z post, and basically, life is good.
The Bad News:
My laptop charger is broken. For the third time.
Pretty much, you all are going to have to bear with me through this - I'm going to have to find a way to fix it all up to where I can use my laptop more than I can right now - the cord is so bent out of shape. I won't be on messenger for a while, possibly only for tonight (which, by the time I'm writing this, you know), and I'm SORRY! I have email and other accessible profiles you can talk to me on, but Trillian is special to my laptop!
Oh, so something very disturbing happened today: I realized I haven't been thinking about Morgan (except when Jessie and I talk about the latest pit inhabitants).
It's so strange.
Chasity was talking to me randomly while she was playing with my hair, and all of the sudden goes, "So... Have you heard from Morgan lately?" (She knows about the whole 'talking' thing, and like I've said before, admits to totally dumping her boyfriend and going out with him in a heartbeat if he asked. She has also told me I was dumb. I agreed.)
Anyway.
I was like, "No..."
And she says, "Oh, yeah, I haven't heard from him, either."
Lauren: "Yeah. Well. He probably has a girlfriend."
Chasity: "Like last time he wasn't talking to us?"
Lauren: "Exactly."
Chasity: "Ah. Yeah. You're probably right. Loser."
Lauren: "Mmm. I'm over it."
And she kind of stared me down for a minute and sighed and gave me cornrows.
It was crazy. Because it was the first time I'd actually had to think-THINK about it in that way in a very long time.
Yay, independence!
I've started working on the Clara/Zach post, the challenge that's going to be a 'teaser' for the C/Z post, and basically, life is good.
The Bad News:
My laptop charger is broken. For the third time.
Pretty much, you all are going to have to bear with me through this - I'm going to have to find a way to fix it all up to where I can use my laptop more than I can right now - the cord is so bent out of shape. I won't be on messenger for a while, possibly only for tonight (which, by the time I'm writing this, you know), and I'm SORRY! I have email and other accessible profiles you can talk to me on, but Trillian is special to my laptop!
Oh, so something very disturbing happened today: I realized I haven't been thinking about Morgan (except when Jessie and I talk about the latest pit inhabitants).
It's so strange.
Chasity was talking to me randomly while she was playing with my hair, and all of the sudden goes, "So... Have you heard from Morgan lately?" (She knows about the whole 'talking' thing, and like I've said before, admits to totally dumping her boyfriend and going out with him in a heartbeat if he asked. She has also told me I was dumb. I agreed.)
Anyway.
I was like, "No..."
And she says, "Oh, yeah, I haven't heard from him, either."
Lauren: "Yeah. Well. He probably has a girlfriend."
Chasity: "Like last time he wasn't talking to us?"
Lauren: "Exactly."
Chasity: "Ah. Yeah. You're probably right. Loser."
Lauren: "Mmm. I'm over it."
And she kind of stared me down for a minute and sighed and gave me cornrows.
It was crazy. Because it was the first time I'd actually had to think-THINK about it in that way in a very long time.
Yay, independence!
3.25.2008
Stronger!
Work It Harder
Make It Better...
:)
Does anyone else happen to love that song by Daft Punk, yet also adore it in the version it's in on here, with whatshishead singing over it?
Yes. Yes, you do, although you may not know it.
Also, I am procrastinating on everything, so hold your tongues. I know you want it. So do I, believe me.
I WANT IT ALL.
Anywho.
Dear Anna - I hear rumor of a big marathon of BSG sometime... Maybe tomorrow (???). Look on the SciFi site, if you get that. Haha.
I'm working on the challenge.
And Talon's yelling at me. VERY much.
And Clara's sulking.
And Mr. Burton's wanting his paper.
And Lauren's DYING.
Haha.
So I went to TAA (Teachers As Advisors) today (it's a period of forty-five minutes where you're supposed to look up to the teachers and ask for advice or whatever. Our TAA teacher teaches anatomy and doesn't care what we do. We play BS. And yes. It's the bad word. Except it's never said unless you're playing with Beaner. I love him.), and the teacher, who hates everyone's driveling and whining about how cold it is in the building (It's FIFTY outside, and the school board has it cranked to full AC. Morons.), so on his board, he had written in a little cloud:
I don't know why, but that completely filled me with happiness.
Make It Better...
:)
Does anyone else happen to love that song by Daft Punk, yet also adore it in the version it's in on here, with whatshishead singing over it?
Yes. Yes, you do, although you may not know it.
Also, I am procrastinating on everything, so hold your tongues. I know you want it. So do I, believe me.
I WANT IT ALL.
Anywho.
Dear Anna - I hear rumor of a big marathon of BSG sometime... Maybe tomorrow (???). Look on the SciFi site, if you get that. Haha.
I'm working on the challenge.
And Talon's yelling at me. VERY much.
And Clara's sulking.
And Mr. Burton's wanting his paper.
And Lauren's DYING.
Haha.
So I went to TAA (Teachers As Advisors) today (it's a period of forty-five minutes where you're supposed to look up to the teachers and ask for advice or whatever. Our TAA teacher teaches anatomy and doesn't care what we do. We play BS. And yes. It's the bad word. Except it's never said unless you're playing with Beaner. I love him.), and the teacher, who hates everyone's driveling and whining about how cold it is in the building (It's FIFTY outside, and the school board has it cranked to full AC. Morons.), so on his board, he had written in a little cloud:
"Bundle up. There's nothing I can do about it."
I don't know why, but that completely filled me with happiness.
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