My 204th POST!

CHRIS KIFER HUGGED ME TODAY AFTER KICKING ME IN THE BUTT DURING THE FIRE DRILL UNEXPECTEDLY. IT COMPLETELY MADE MY DAY!


That is all.

:D

Long Day.

"The night was cold and gray, promising snow for the next morning. Stars were bundled in the haze, the fog not yet freezing, creeping into the lungs of whoever would open their mouth, silently moving around the three figures as the wind blew in gentle disturbances."

Soooo... I watched THE LAST two episodes of Chuck until the Writer's Strike is over. How sad is THAT?

Not to mention Daniel called, and we were talking about how the friends at the different schools were doing, and something came up to where we were talking about Morgan. FYI, Daniel DOES NOT know about this whole Lauren-obsesses-over-Morgan thing, so we were just kind of casually touching some random subject about how short the list was of his ex-girlfriends (sarcastically, I might add), and he happened to pop off about Morgan with: "PLEASE! Morgan's got TONS of girls in love with him."

I think that was the part that made me a teeny bit sick.

I miss him a lot.
I think that he needs to call me. Or ya know, just IM. Whatever.
:(

Anyways, Amanda called and we had an hour discussion on her boyfriend, a guy named Erick, and why her boyfriend had better not break up with her (it sounds more 'intimate' than it was, but it's too freaking long to go into details) between her crying, and then I finally got her settled, telling her that nothing was her fault in this (it wasn't).

SIGH.

I have rehersal until seven tomorrow.
& Alan and Molly are coming over.
& Westboro Baptist is still hacking me off.

:/

You Know What's Weird?

I'm nervous about tomorrow.

Probably because of the party, but I mean really, is that a big deal?

My brain happens to be screaming 'YES. YES, IT IS.'

I don't know. It probably has something to do with the fact that all of my guests, save one, are males I've known since Jr. High.

Daniel and Andrew are for sure coming to play assorted crap at my house, Kyleigh's going to be very late, and...

Well, fine. I haven't called Morgan yet. But he's invited.

Which may be why I'm nervous.

So I was kind of sitting here, thinking about how everyone listed above, except MORGAN, has been inside of my house at one point - whether it was before or after the fire. And then, being lost in my own thoughts, I remembered why, and one of my stupider moments:

I hated Morgan. Plain and simple. And until a minute ago, going through my old Xanga (beware.), I found out.

And it made me laugh.

"Morgan... (The rest of you don't have to read this.) I don't get it. What in the freaking -another place other than heaven- are you trying to do?! Tell me what's going on, in writing, email it to me, and then we can talk. I don't want to jump in here with you saying... crap... like 'i didnt say what you said i said you want me to go to hell'. Oh. My. GOSH. First of all, quit putting wirds in my mouth, even if they belong there, and if you have that big of a problem, put your head between your legs and kiss it. I don't need this. I tried avoiding you, but then you use me as a game and are always trying to talk to me. You say you didn't use me? You knew me for TWO WEEKS beofre you asked me out. Here's the deal: I was letting you down easy, buddy. I absolutley did not want to go out with you. So, tell you what? Tell me what you want me to do. I'm past listening though. Been there, done that, failed. And, oh, by the way, learn to spell and punctuate."

Ohyyeaaaah. I was an idiot.
But you know, neither one of us could actually remember why, a year later, we were fighting.

...Which might be good. I was a little bit of a pain.

Anywho. I remember once, he came to the rental house after the fire and after that comment to be friends. I hated him enough to where I tried to avoid going outside to see him.

But I think when I finally did, it blew over. :)

WOW, things have changed.

HEARTATTACK

I'm going to fall on the floor and die.

Even better, I'll die HAPPY.

[01:09] morgantil16: man

[01:09] morgantil16: i want to go out with you, but we never see eachother and we hardly ever talk

I was like, wanting to cry and laugh and fall over all at the same time.

So now, I'm on Mission Spend Time With Morgan, Even If That Means Dragging Him to Church.

And in case you want to see the whole conversation, which steals the cake for amazing, just ask. If not, highlights below. That completely... Aaaah....

---

[00:16] elderberryness: soooo.
[00:16] elderberryness: did you get to do anything exciting today?
[00:16] morgan: i went to a party
[00:16] morgan: which was gay
[00:17] elderberryness: man. :P
[00:17] morgan: :)
[00:17] morgan: i was the designated driver
[00:17] elderberryness: haha. very nice. :)

[00:31] elderberryness: I miss you. & algebra. & movie charades.
[00:33] morgan: haha
[00:33] morgan: i miss you too
[00:33] morgan: and all that
[00:33] elderberryness: haha.
[00:35] morgan: yeah
[00:35] morgan: so hey
[00:35] morgan: do you like me?
[00:36] elderberryness: haha.
[00:36] elderberryness: yes.
[00:36] morgan: :-D
[00:36] elderberryness: :D
[00:37] elderberryness: did you really have to ask?? :)
[00:37] morgan: i was jsut makin sure
[00:37] morgan: :)
[00:38] elderberryness: ;)
[00:38] elderberryness: oh okay.

[00:53] morgan: dude im cold
[00:54] elderberryness: mwahah. I'm under blankets. :D
[00:54] morgan: haha
[00:54] elderberryness: pretty toasty. :)

[00:56] morgan: ive been single for like 5 mo.
[00:56] morgan: its driving me insane
[00:56] elderberryness: wow, really?
[00:56] elderberryness: haha.
[00:56] morgan: yeah
[00:56] elderberryness: maaan.
[00:56] morgan: its like a new record
[00:57] elderberryness: I beat you. :)
[00:57] morgan: lol
[00:57] morgan: well for me anyways
[00:57] elderberryness: lol
[00:58] elderberryness: mine is seven years. :D
[00:58] morgan: darn
[00:58] morgan: you win
[00:58] elderberryness: haha. of course. ;P
[00:58] morgan: uhm
[00:58] morgan: so your not allowed to
[00:59] elderberryness: well, okay. so there's this really long story that's insanely stupid involving my mom a couple months back.
[01:00] morgan: ?
[01:00] elderberryness: and she denied saying that I couldn't.
[01:00] elderberryness: pretty much.
[01:00] elderberryness: and then said that I just had to be picky.
[01:00] elderberryness: which is retarded.
[01:00] elderberryness: :)
[01:00] morgan: hmm
[01:00] morgan: that makes no sense
[01:01] morgan: but its cool anywayz
[01:01] elderberryness: oh.
[01:01] elderberryness: basically, I'm free.

*!*!*!*!*!* ABOVE: OH MY ASLKDJASLDKSJ. Seven months. Dude, that's since MAY, when I LEFT. D: *!*!*!*!*!*!

[01:02] morgan: so who else do you like?
[01:03] elderberryness: god, you really want the whole list?
[01:03] elderberryness: just kidding.
[01:03] elderberryness: no one. :)
[01:04] morgan: ohrlynow?
[01:04] elderberryness: ohrlyyeah.

[01:09] morgan: i want to go out with you, but we never see eachother and we hardly ever talk
[01:10] morgan: which is gay
[01:10] elderberryness: i know it. and I hate it.
[01:10] elderberryness: and I'm really really really tempted to make you come sing with us on sunday. :D
[01:10] morgan: dang
[01:10] morgan: yeah

[01:10] morgan: well i gtg
[01:11] morgan: but i guess ill tty when ever i can
[01:11] elderberryness: ookay. :(
[01:11] elderberryness: yeah, same.
[01:11] morgan: goodnight
[01:11] elderberryness: you too.
[01:11] elderberryness: Don't let the bedbugs bite. :)
[01:11] morgan: :)
[01:11] *** "morgan" signed off at Fri Dec 28 01:11:49 2007.

----------

AND I KNOW THAT WAS FREAKING LONG.
But if you read it, you're totally filled in. <3

It's Been Over a Week

So it's now socially acceptable to post this and fangirl over it and make it obsessed over by millions...

...of Lauren's brain cells.

[00:50] elderberryness: Merry dayafterChristmas. :)
[00:51] morgan: merry day late to you too:]
[00:51] elderberryness: Sooo, how was your yesterday?
[00:51] elderberryness: Oh... day before.
[00:52] morgan: pretty good
[00:52] morgan: and yours?
[00:52] elderberryness: same, same. :)
[00:54] morgan: awesome
[00:55] elderberryness: yep. :]
[00:55] elderberryness: loving the break?
[00:55] morgan: yes and no
[00:56] elderberryness: ohh?
[00:57] morgan: yeah
[00:57] elderberryness: why? :P
[00:57] morgan: i have no one to spend it with
[00:58] morgan: :(
[00:58] elderberryness: awww. D:
[00:58] elderberryness: you should come over and break Michael's new Guitar Hero for me. :D
[00:59] morgan: play it til i break it?
[00:59] morgan: i love it!
[00:59] elderberryness: haha, sure!
[00:59] elderberryness: those songs keep getting stuck in my head.
[01:00] elderberryness: I actually woke up to them this morning.
[01:00] morgan: hahaha
[01:00] morgan: is it gh3?
[01:00] elderberryness: yahh.
[01:01] morgan: haha
[01:01] morgan: im learnin one of the songfs off of it eright now
[01:01] elderberryness: woowww.
[01:02] elderberryness: I suck at it. I tried in walmart once, and found out that i'm not finger-eye coordinated.
[01:03] morgan: hahaha
[01:03] morgan: well what r u doing tomorrow?
[01:04] elderberryness: either being stolen by someone and going late Christmas shopping (wooo...) or staying here, cleaning, and making sure Michael doesn't blow his fingers off.
[01:04] morgan: oh
[01:04] morgan: okay
[01:04] morgan: nvm trhen
[01:05] elderberryness: :\
[01:05] elderberryness: why; what're you doing tomorrow?
[01:05] morgan: i was coming over but i geuss not
[01:06] elderberryness: jeeeez.
[01:06] elderberryness: you really need to, though. everyone but you has actually been here.
[01:06] morgan: seriously
[01:06] elderberryness: mhm.
[01:07] elderberryness: I think you're the only one my mom's like, 'morgan? ohh, wait, the one at golden corral?'
[01:08] elderberryness: except she's also forgotten who Daniel is, but that's just because he hasn't been INSIDE the house.
[01:08] morgan: oh
[01:08] morgan: haha
[01:08] morgan: so then no to tomrrow?
[01:09] elderberryness: I really don't know.
[01:09] elderberryness: it totally depends on what I have to do.
[01:09] morgan: oh
[01:09] elderberryness: ya. :/
[01:12] elderberryness: I've really got to get my permit. it's killing me.
[01:12] morgan: yeah
[01:13] morgan: well look atr it this way
[01:13] morgan: i got my lisence
[01:13] morgan: ahaha
[01:13] elderberryness: ahah. trrrue. :P
[01:15] morgan: lol
[01:15] morgan: well i gtg to bed
[01:15] elderberryness: mmkay. :)
[01:15] morgan: ill ttyl
[01:15] morgan: hey
[01:15] elderberryness: yeah?
[01:15] morgan: you know me #?
[01:15] elderberryness: aaahh... maybe.
[01:15] morgan: [hisphonenumber]
[01:15] elderberryness: if it's in my cell, yeah.
[01:15] elderberryness: okay. :)
[01:15] morgan: okay
[01:15] morgan: well call me tomorrow if we can hang
[01:16] elderberryness: totally. :D
[01:16] morgan: awesome
[01:16] morgan: well off to besd
[01:16] morgan: gnight
[01:16] elderberryness: nightynight. :)

Do you SEE that timestamp?! ONE. IN THE MORNING.

Ugh, I love it.

[ps -> Anyone heard of 'Superchick'? <3333333]

172nd Post. Whoa.

I'm considering myself gipped.
And tired.
And in pain.
And on codine-loved pain pills.

MORGAN: EMAIL ME BACK. PLEASE. SOMETHING. I DON'T CARE.

JUST DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING AT TWO IN THE MORNING WHEN I'VE MADE MYSELF SOUND LIKE A CHEESEBALL.

lakjdrighhsfrl.

No word yet, ladies. No word yet.

But look at this, and as I go through, I'll explain as not to sound cheeseball-y again:

this is the "attractive" test. Reply through a message with your answers. Put an x in the boxes. Repost this with the subject "Attractive test" and send me your answers in a message

BE HONEST!!!

Would you kiss me?
[x] yes
[] no
(Because, uh, yeah. I would. No lying there.)

Am I?
[x] sexy as hell
[] fine
[] pretty
[] cute
[] okay
[] ugly!
(Because he's not "fine" or "pretty", though "sexy as hell" makes me laugh.)

Do you think im a virgin?
[x] yes
[] no
(Oh, Lord, I hope so.)

I look like..
[] a player
[] husby/wifey type
[] one time thing
[x] next bf/gf
(This quiz sucks, because what the flip ELSE am I supposed to put? I don't see the option of "the guy I'd date if I had the guts," do you?

If you saw me for the first time would you talk to me?
[x] Yes
[] No
(Because he's so sweet, everyone does.)

Would you rather..
[] hook up with me
[] cuddle with me
[] have sex with me
[x] date me
("Rape you like a drunken prostitute" would probably be the next option on there, or so it seems. They don't make these very reasonable.)

On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), rate me..
[] 1
[] 2
[] 3
[] 4
[] 5
[] 6
[] 7
[] 8
[] 9
[x] 10
(Who said I was rating on looks? He's amazing.)

what would you want me to be to you?
[x] friend
[] sex buddy
[x] girl friend/boy friend
[] wifey/husby
(Riiiiight. Like anyone would put "sex buddy." Perverts.)


I just don't know. I'm confused and nervous and kind of proud I had the guts to send that back to him.
But now, he needs the guts to send me HIS.

alskdjogurwhfwkfjewf.

I Hate Everything

today.

I'm frustrated, annoyed, and tired of being yelled at by people in general.

I need time and a lot of hate music to get over it.

Unfortunately, my purgatory currently resides both on Markwell and on Toby Keith Ave. I can't escape.

Opening night is in two weeks.

There's no way in all that's righteous that I'm going to even be able to LOOK at NaNo.

Chris Kifer won't talk to me.

Morgan STILL isn't talking to me.


What did I do?

Meg Cabot

will save your life, I've firmly decided.

Sigh.

I'm okay. Just... stressing about stuff that's not even there.

Chasity's going to go out with Jeff G. (went to Euro with me - sweet guy), but I'm afraid she'll use him. When she got into *my* love life (LAME, Chas!), I kind of spilled that the guy I was even remotely interested happened to go to Westmoore.

And eventually, she guessed. And then began freaking out on me. NO LIE.

"OHMYLORD, LAUREN! I'M SO JEALOUS! I'VE LOVED HIM SINCE SEVENTH GRADE! I'D GO OUT WITH HIM IN A HEART BEAT! BLAHBLAHBLABITTYBLAH!!!!"

Okay, fine, so it was a little funny.
But also, I've learned that Morgan has this loyal group of people who would date him in a second... Which is disturbing, but flattering.

Unfortunately, she happened to ask me why I WASN'T dating him. alsjfhadlfjhrwofuhenksougfew.

So I told her the story, about my 'lie', and reminded her that not even on pain of death was she to tell anyone of this.

And now I'm sitting here shaking, and it's not cold. aslkdj. I don't know what's going on.

BUT IT'S FRIDAY! WOO!

---

Song Clip That Potentially Depresses People:

"Monday is a funny thing
Still waiting for the phone to ring
Will my imagination take it slow (oh yeah)
How decidedly my life has changed
In a moment it was rearranged
Strange how easy it is letting go.

And I miss your face

Like the sun was in my eyes
And now I'm running blind
And I can't explain
Last night I saw the fireworks
The kind of pain that never hurts
The one you hate to love is made for you
Another Unsuspecting Sunday Afternoon..."

I Don't Wanna Waste Another Minute...

I think I'm more than a little obsessed, don't you?

I love them. Still. Forever. Whatever.

But anywho, they've CHANGED! Scroll down on that site and listen to the clips (Number Four --- My fave, just off of the preview, and the namesake of this post), and it's like "Back to the Nineties" --- Not that I mind. :)

Dad has yet to preorder this CD, and I've already paid him for it. UGH, I can't wait until this summer. Car, job, potential boyfriend, and pure happiness (minus the snow).

Speaking of Morgan, I haven't heard from him in a while. It's depressing. What's weird though is that I realized that I can predict guys by what they're doing. And no, it's not non-disturbing. Take Daniel for example. Unless I call him first, the only time he calls me is because he broke up with someone. No kidding. Or how about Charles, the manwhore, who only emails me when he thinks he has a [snowballs] chance [in hell]. And Morgan? Well, he makes me sad. Because the only time I get to talk to him is when he signs on to IM, and the only time he does that is when he doesn't have a girlfriend.

How pathetic is that? I'm head-over-heels for a guy who only talks to me when he's single.

I must be mental.

But okay. Enough of that.

COLORADO LOST THE WORLD SERIES!!!
And while I don't particularly care about pro baseball (or any kind, for that matter), it makes me extremely sad. My friend loves the Red Sox and I think they're retarded, even though I've never actually seen them play until this week... Hence the "GO ROCKIES" stance.

...

No logic there. I understand. But STILL!!!!

Oh, so big family issue at the moment, anyone? Here ya go: Ghosts.

I know. GHOSTS. Who would've thought. But my mom loves those psychic "I FEEL THE SPIRITS OF THE DEAD" shows. I, in my opinion (and Katie, I know you and I don't think the same on this topic, and I'm not saying my word is law... Promise. So don't think I'm buttheaded and calling people dumb for thinking against what I am. I love you) think it's a bunch of crap.

But again, my mom doesn't.

She thinks that the house she grew up in was hanted by ghostS who talked at night and played middle C on the piano. She says her sister heard it too.

What no one knows about my mom (and what I'm not supposed to know, so shut your holes) is that she's been through hell as a child. In fact, all my dad's told me is that I'm not to be around my grampa without a parent. Which leaves no specifics, but scares the FLIP out of me.

So anywho, my dad thinks this: Mom's childhood and situation at the time was really bad, and that it was all something that haunted her. Her and her sister, who shared a room and went through the same "thing" were BOTH haunted by it. He says that he believes ghosts are in your mind, after something bad happens, or something traumatic.

And I'm kind of eh on that too. I just don't think about it. But whatever. It was weird to talk about. I just can't imagine "spirits" being on Earth. In my religion, when you die, you go to heaven or hell. There's no "haunt" option on the dial.

Whatev. I don't know. It's disturbing.

SO.

I finished my paper on Indium and watched "Not Another Teen Movie" for a while with Dad, and now I'm furious because I missed a BSB interview and exclusive album leak, and I have practice until EIGHT tomorrow, if I'm reading my schedule right.

Oh boy.

:)

Love you guys.

Dream a Little Dream

So, if you know me pretty well, and if I've actually bothered to talk about it, I think dreams and nightmares are amazing. I'd rather have a nightmare than no dream at all.

Well, maybe I was a little wrong. Because last night, I had a dream/nightmare/whatever, and it scares the HECK out of me. It seemed so realistic, and actually, to my horrid dismay, COULD happen (not to say it will -- It's just possible), and I really didn't want to talk about it to anyone that would sit there and go "Oh, PLEASE! Not AGAIN!" or something retarded.

So I'm telling you, my blog-reading lovers. Because you can't come all the way to Oklahoma to chew me out over a dream, or about how freakishly pathetic this sounds. Which I know, "IT IS NOT!", but seriously... IT IS.

First of all, before I say this, I'm head-over-heels crazy for him, and you all know that. But I'm trying to pretend I'm not, so none of the gush here, kay?

Okay. Sigh. Here we go, guys.
....

So I was on this road trip (this is where it started, no lie, ha) that was coming to a close, but I could tell we were in New Mexico (...). I was in this little car, in the backseat of my grandparents car, next to my FIANCEE, who was really tall and gorgeous, with dark hair, dark eyes, and all muscular and just... Beautiful. And (you know how you already know the backstory in a dream, here, so bear with me) I was just leaning on him for the whole trip, as we all talked. This guy, known only to me now as The Nameless Fiancee, had only known me for a matter of months, and we were getting married right out of high school. None of my friends knew this, and I didn't have any plans to tell them (It was like I was out for revenge or something), and it was in the earlier part of June, when we'd just gotten out of school.

As it turns out ("DING!" goes the little dream-voice in my head), the place that we stopped was the place that we were supposed to be getting married --- THAT DAY. I was nervous, kind of obviously, but I went in, dressed up and everything, and saw the inside of the building. The Nameless Fiancee had picked the place out, but it was HORRIBLE. It was old, so old that all the white in the building was yellowed, and looked gaudy, not to mention that the whole place was made out of wood, the white paint chipped off of everywhere.

But I was getting married. And I hid my disappointment.

Before the whole ceremony, we were all eating together (it gets weird here, I'll admit) from this cake that looked like one of those cheesey "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" cakes from Wal*Mart, and I was leaning on my fiancee again, trying to hold his hand and everythig. Someone across from us at the plasti-table kind of laughs and says their congratulations (as I'm still trying to hold the hand of my stiff-as-a-board chosen one), and he says "Yes. I'm very lucky." in his dark, sexy voice...

Without smiling. Or looking down at me. Or caring.

And then it kind of hits me in this panicky flurry that this wasn't what I wanted at all. I wanted someone to look at me like they really loved me, or to reach for MY hand, as opposed to me reaching always for theirs. I wanted someone who would want to surprise and impress me, and go out of their way to try to be more amazing than I already thought they are.

As you may have guessed, The Nameless Fiancee did not live up to this expectation.

I tried to imagine living with him the rest of my life - It was miserable. I tried thinking about eating and sleeping and just doing everything with him, and it all seemed so worthless.

And crying, I ran to the bathroom.

The bathroom (which was DISGUSTING, by the way) turned into my hideout, and I cried, perched on the top of the toilet in my white (slightly ugly) dress. All of my family left after trying to plead me out (I did explain. In a "Aaahahhhhican'tlovehimmmmM!" kind of wail thing), The Nameless Fiancee not even trying. I didn't have any ring to get rid of; the whole thing had been really sudden, so after a couple hours of torture (I'd guess... It actually seemed like minutes...), I pulled out my cell phone and called Morgan.

Yep. That's right. MY Morgan.

He had no clue WHY I was in New Mexico, or WHY I was crying, but without asking, he just coaxed out the address of the church from me and promised to meet me there. And he did. He knocked on the bathroom door and told me that it was him, and when I let him in, he sighed really deep and kind of nodded (upon seeing the dress... Lauren, you're an IDIOTTT), and then gave me a hug and a long ride home. We didn't talk the whole way there, but when we finally got to my house (I was in an apartment - ready to go to college, I guess) he stopped the car and looks over at me and says:

"I think we need to talk. Really talk."


And that was it.
And it scares the freak out of me.

AHH.

---

In other news, rehersal's been upped to seven long hours tomorrow. Meaning seven LOOONG hours of dancing retardedly in high heels and skirts in the dark, screaming for mercy and rides.

Woooo.

Echk.

So I go to school today, and it was all pretty good...
Until an hour ago, when I got sick to my stomach and almost vomitted.

So I ditched vocal practice today and came home and took meds, and now I'm doing much better.

But okay, so at the beginning of this year, I kind of swore off Moore boys. The only guy for me was at Westmoore, so on, so forth, blahblahblah. And my whole thing this year is being "that outspoken girl in the middle of the room who's kind of quiet unless you've known her." --- All part of the tact, right?

So imagine this: I'm on a bus Friday, on the way home, where too many kids are loaded into this old bus that's going to kill me one day, and this guy sits next to me. Yeah. THAT guy. The freaky one that looks like he'd like to eat my face.

And then he puts his hand on my thigh, and gets slapped.
And then has the ego to ask if I have a boyfriend.
Which, kind of obviously, I don't.
But I didn't want him to even be NEAR me after that...
Sooooo... I kind of lied, and made up Dave, my adorable, over-protective "boyfriend" who doesn't exist, but if he did, his name would be MORGAN instead.

*cough* Sorry.

Anywho, he moved, and then Chasity told him I did WEED while in Amsterdam, which, uh, NO, and when I said I wasn't like that, she was like "Well... Haha... You were LAST YEAR!"

WHAT?!
WHERE DO THEY GET THIS CRAP?!

So anywho.
It's been interesting around Moore.

MySpace Sucks.

Because Morgan tells me to go there, and then I end up not being able to see him and the band. And I *want* to see him and the band.

DESPERATELY want.

:)

But whatever. Next time I talk to someone with a MySpace...

Ha. Haha. HAHAHA.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow!

I LOVE YOU. TOMORROW - IT'S ONLY A DAYYYY AAAAA-WAYYYY!

Oh, yeah. I'm totally the next Annie. Haha.

That movie was the number one watched daycare movie of my preschool life, including the movie with the most sung song --- Can you just picture a whole bunch of kids on a mini-plastic playset, belting out "Tomorrow?"

Ah, the sight. I still remember.

So tomorrow (getting back to the original point of it being titled like this), I'm going back to Westmoore to actually work (I plan on taking a camera, but who knows if I'm actually going to be able to remember) the One Act competition. I have the Westmoore group, and am expecting a verbal beating from the crowd, since I happen to be a MOORE kid, and not from the other side of the tracks.

But whatever. I get to see Morgan, Josh, Daniel, etc.

I love them much.

Oh, and I got the notebook yesterday! It's amazing, beautiful, and I've ALREADY WRITTEN IN IT! :D

TWENTY-ONE DAYS UNTIL NANOWRIMO!
[[are you ready?]]

Reasons Why I Can't Possibly Hate WHS Anymore:

1. Because all of my guy friends go there.
2. Because it's FREAKISHLY BEAUTIFUL and makes Moore look like a junk heap. Which it is, there's no denying.
3. I love being hugged all day. It's so amazing.
4. Any school where your friends FIGHT over who gets to hug you first can't be called dumb. Or ugly. Or retarded.
5. Josh Wardle.
6. MORGAN T-RAIL!
7. Everthing's so awesome and wide open.
8. Everything's INSIDE, unlike freakaleakishly designed Moore.
9. Because I'm going to be going to school with half of those kids next year. Yikes.

It was bliss.

Example? Okay!
" But, like, I saw Josh and Daniel coming down the hall (probably because Daniel was yelling at me), and Josh was like "No, dude, *I* get to hug her first.""

OH, oh, and then Morgan gave me a long, huge, bear hug that was totally amazing. And he got braces. And he's adorable in the non-dorky but kind of teenage heartthrob kind of way. Which, you know, doesn't exactly make my day suck. :)

SO sweet. SO needed. SO LOVEABLE.

IDIOT!!!

UGH.
I LIKE THE GUY, and I miss his freaking birthday after he told me when it was.

IDIOTIDIOTIDIOT!

So, in honor of the twelfth, which I spent typing up freaking John Mayer lyrics, AKA Morgan's birthday...

[22:40] elderberryness: i'm trying to find out how there can possibly be signifigance in stairs.
[22:40] elderberryness: for english.
[22:40] elderberryness: argh.
[22:40] morgan: well
[22:41] morgan: they let you get from down to low and vice versa in a matter of minutes
[22:41] elderberryness: ahaha.
[22:41] elderberryness: very true.
[22:41] morgan: yes
[22:41] morgan: i know
[22:42] morgan: its amazing isnt it?
[22:42] elderberryness: ahaha. smartass. :)

---

[19:57] morgan: what have you been into lately?
[19:57] elderberryness: pssh. not much of anything.
[19:58] elderberryness: you?
[19:58] morgan: well
[19:58] morgan: guitar, and extreme skipping
[19:58] elderberryness: extreme skipping?
[19:58] morgan: hells yes

---

[20:48] morgan: then how to get on a bus
[20:48] morgan: you wait at the stop with all the other ppl
[20:49] morgan: the bus will stop in front o' you
[20:49] elderberryness: ...
[20:49] morgan: and you get on, sit down, and be quiet
[20:49] elderberryness: ha, ha, HA.
[20:49] morgan: lol
[20:49] morgan: well i was just tellin you
[20:50] elderberryness: so you just go to the stop? no telling them that 'oh yeah, whoever's going to be riding this bus'?
[20:50] morgan: nope
[20:50] elderberryness: oh.
[20:50] morgan: you just get on
[20:50] elderberryness: sha-weet.
[20:50] morgan: and find a seat
[20:50] morgan: and sit
[20:50] elderberryness: ...here we go...
[20:50] morgan: and be queit
[20:50] morgan: *
[20:50] elderberryness: hardy-har-har.

---

[22:17] morgan: well
[22:17] morgan: im always here
[22:17] morgan: lol
[22:18] elderberryness: lol. thanks.
[22:18] morgan: yeah
[22:18] morgan: ill be your fall back
[22:18] morgan: hahaha
[22:18] elderberryness: :P
[22:18] elderberryness: you're totally better than a fall back. you're a SUPER fall back.
[22:18] elderberryness: haha. jk.
[22:19] morgan: hahahahahaha
[22:19] morgan: watev
[22:19] morgan: er
[22:19] elderberryness: haha. youknowit.
[22:19] morgan: damn
[22:19] morgan: i feel left out
[22:19] elderberryness: hm? why?
[22:20] morgan: cuz im a super fall back, so like all the other fall backs get gfs way before me
[22:20] morgan: hahaha
[22:20] elderberryness: hahaha. nonono. you're a super fall back, so you get gfs BEFORE all of them. :)
[22:21] elderberryness: better? :)
[22:21] morgan: oh oh
[22:21] morgan: haha
[22:21] morgan: i see

---

[17:42] morgan: do you want my bod?
[17:42] elderberryness: totally.
[17:42] elderberryness: hahaha.
[17:42] morgan: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

He gets his license in seven days. SEVEN DAYS.

Everybody was KUNGFU fighting!!!

Sooo. THREE new songs. Scroll to le botte'um* and check them out.

Fergie? Serious? Who would've thought. She was the reason freshman last year thought tasty was spelled "T... to the A... to the S, T, E, Y". No kidding.

Thanks a lot, Fergaferg.

Anywho.
I got a new book today, and it's already read! "Jinx", by Meg Cabot, is amazing. Witches and red hair... Ugh. JEALOUS.
I've noticed she's kind of like me in the fact that her characters are all pretty much the same voice. What I envy is that she tells you the plot twist up front, but not exactly WHAT it is... Kind of. I don't know. Go read it.

Chris Kifer gave me a hug today, bless him. I needed that SO INCREDIBLY BAD.

And yeah, there's a story. Be prepared:

So there's this boy in my class who sits behind me in sixth hour (this all takes place in sixth hour) English II named Jake (“Jacob-but-there’s-two-of-us-and-the-other-sits-right-next-to-me-in-this-class-so-just-Jake-thankyouverymuch”), but that doesn’t really matter. I’ve decided that I hate him, and will now commonly refer to him as “The Butthole.”

Yep. It’s getting pretty heated.

Anyway, today in English, we were required to vote on which of two categories we valued more on thirteen questions, all of which we publicly announced by raising our hands to vote. The girls would go first, who picked a and then who picked b, and then the guys would go, voting on a and b like the girls.

I swear, that’s the worst activity EVER.

So, I’m not like a feminist or anything. I’m not fighting for women’s rights to do anything in the whole fa-lipping world, but if you call something girly, I’ll take your hiney out to the dumpster. It’s just how I work. I hate being cut down.
Just, you know, saying that. Because that’s how this whole thing’s going to look; like I’m some sort of feminist.

So we’re voting, every “a” answer being a worldly choice, (being popular, living comfortably, national security, etc, etc.) and “b’s” being the sensitive choice (love, true friendship, world beauty, etc, etc.).
And The Butthole sits behind me, raising his hand for the “manlier” choice and almost making fun of the guys who “aren’t manly at all.”
So every time he says something, I turn around and get in his face. Because it makes me mad that he’s putting down guys for being sweet, and overall being a little snot.
And I inform him that “Those “girly guys” are going to marry a sweet girl and live happily ever after. You, on the other hand, will either die without marriage or marry a wench who does all of your bidding.”
And he blows me off or tries to defend what he’s saying.

Now, there’s this girl who I don’t know the name of in the first place. She’s really ditzy, with long curly-ish blonde hair (They give us a bad name. Ugh.) and blue eyes, with this “LIKE OH MY LAWRD, YOU’RE JUS’ WRONG!” attitude.
Which irritates me, and I don’t like her anyways. But that’s really beside the point.

So why am I bringing this girl, now nicknamed (according to me) “The Witch” (It was worse. Thank goodness for Chris and his hugs.) into this story? What does she have to do with it?

Well, about question number nine or so, she goes “Oh my GOD. WHY do you keep getting on his A** everytime he says something!” and then proceeds to “mime” what I’m doing in a highly jerkfaced manner.

So I shut up, mentally saying all the bad words I know.

And about question twelve, she gets tired of him too, and says “Are you like, a SEXIST or something?!”
And I turn around and go “No, he just stereotypes girls and guys for what they were in the sixties.”
To which she responds, “No he doesn’t!!!”

EXCUSE ME?!
What the FLIP are you saying, woman?!

So I roll my eyes and shut up for the rest of the hour until Jacob, who’s really cool and The Butthole start talking about cars.
Me: “I will NEVER drive a car.”
Jacob: “What?! Why?! EVERYONE wants to drive.”
The Butthole: “God, you’re weird.”
Me: “NO. I mean a CAR. I get carsick in cars. I want a SUV or truck.”
Jacob: “Aaaah, I see. Haha. That’s so weird.”
Me: “Yeah, Dad wants me to get one too. They’re safe.”
TB: “Cars are safer.”
Me: “Uh. No. They aren’t.”
TB: “In a collision SUVs are safer, but trucks and SUVs roll easier.”
(Bell Rings, Chaos ensues.)
Me, yelling over noise: “If you roll a freaking car of any kind, you’re a suck-worthy dirver!”
TB, because he thinks I can’t hear him: “Did she seriously just say that about an SUV? (laughs)”

I was about ready to rip his face off, kthx.

BUT I'M BETTER. :)
CHRIS LOVES ME, DA****T, AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.
Up yours, Butthole. :D

Haha.
L.

The Girl All The Bad Guys Want...

(That's a song... By Bowling for Soup. Except it's got some not-too nice parts, so I'm not even going to post it, kthx, and it really doesn't apply to me in a literal sense.)

There was this guy on my bus on the way home that was, like, yelling obsenities the other day.
He scared me. He's got piercings everywhere. He flipped a guy off. He looks like he could KILL me.

...And I think he likes me.
WHAT?

He's very anti-social, or so I've seen, but he just started talking really nice to me today.
And yelled at a guy for jokingly taking one of my fundraiser candybars.
Which is flattering... But... No.

...Yeah. So. That was random.

Anywho, I picked the musical over my job.
I love to act, dangit.
Freaking hobbies.

:)

LoveLy.

I'd Like to Rip Myself Apart.

And I didn't even know it.
Because, oh yeah, guess what?
I'm sitting here, like a freaking idiot, talking to Morgan.

...

Which brings me to a different subject: A dream that I had a few days ago.

It was freakishly real, too. No aspect of it was fake at all... Well, of course, except for the whole "dream" part that sent me over the edge.

In the dream, I was meeting Morgan at his school, where a whole bunch of us were going to all go and eat at his house for dinner. I showed up and ran up to hug him (this memory came from Moore War), but it was awkward and like I was hugging someone I didn't even know. He seemed kind of blankly surprised that I was even there (Moore War. AGAIN.), even though it had been planned. He kind of laughed a little and blew it off, but hugged me again, and apologized, saying he was sorry for Moore War (It's getting repetitive, isn't it?), and that no one else was coming with him --- That this was between us, and that he was going to explain why he was so distant and weird.
That's when, from behind, this little ADORABLE blonde boy looking about three or four walks up, and Morgan kind of hugs him with one arm, then says very carefully:
"Lauren, this is my son."

And I was all :O

BUT IT DIDN'T END THERE.
Morgan and I still went to his house and ate with his ENTIRE family. I ignored him, until he finally kicked me from underneath the table. When I didn't respond, he comes around the table and makes me follow him into his room, where I proceed to become "WHAT THE HELL MADE YOU DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT?!" Lauren.
And he basically told me it had all been a huge mistake, so long ago, and that nothing had changed between us, except for the fact that a long-ago girlfriend had handed him off a kid.
And then he kissed me, and tried to make me be okay.

Which I wasn't.
I was mentally distubed enough to wake up and lay there for two hours.


WHY DOES HE DO THIS TO ME?!

Thankyouu--

You all are awesome.
And totally, I could be overreacting.

But you guys didn't say that, which is HUGE. THANK YOU.

Anywho, I did my little late night crying jag (mostly because I was tired - not that whole "situation" thing) and got over it. Chris Kifer gave me another hug yesterday, which makes me happy. :)

I'm listening to Kathe(or-a)rine McPhee as of the momento. :)

I'm also trying to write. W00t.
Writing is good. My plot is dead. WHY?!

Haha, anywho, I'm trying to come up with something orignial, because in a way, I feel like I'm cheating when I get my plots off of the "Adopt-a-Plot" forums at NaNoWriMo.

And let me be the first to say, ORIGINALITY IS HARD.
AHHH.

Hahaha.
ilyoualllll.

It WAS a good game...

But no, we didn't win. 20-22.

I'm. completely. depressed.
and here's the catch - I SHOULDN'T be. I got to see Morgan and Daniel, Kyleigh's back in Moore, and I talked to Morgan more on a cellphone today than ever.

I want to cry so incredibly bad.

When Morgan first got there, I was so excited. Like, I jumped over the rail to see him and hug him. But for some stupid reason, it was... awkward.
Then we go to the Westmoore side, since Casey's going to be preforming that way, and he introduces me to these really fun, bright, and happy WM girls that are his friends.
I hate them. Oh, they have no clue.
They pop off, saying something about how this girl, 'Jolee' is in love. And they want to know if he likes her.

And, christ, he doesn't say anything, and I have to act like I'm looking for Casey. Which I wasn't - I was trying to not listen.

I really, really, really thought that he knew, ya know?


...
Anyways, I didn't tell him that I could date now.
I think, after that, I just kind of blah-ed out.
He went and sat with his sister and just told me to call him or whatever.
I called him twice.
He was with his friends. The ones I met.

I'm hopeless, here, and it's killing me.
I shouldn't have to scream to get someone to hear me.

...Right?